How it starts is how it goes

I am writing about this journey, only for myself.  I have decided though that I will publish it on this blog page.  I haven’t yet been able to explain to myself why, but I am confident that will come with time.

I am feeling this slow shift in my identity that has been developing for about 5 years.  At first I fought it really hard.  Now I think I am ready to embrace it.  It is nothing really profound, but there is a letting go that needs to happen and I have not been doing it graciously.

I am here, living in North Vancouver, working as a family doc part-time downtown Vancouver, right near VGH.  My other part-time job is at UBC where I work in various roles at UBC in the medical education of family doctors. When I try to put it succinctly, I say “I teach doctors how to teach”.  That’s pretty silly, because I don’t actually know how to teach myself.  I was never taught.  So I am an imposter.  This is not who I used to be, nor who I ever envisioned myself to be.  In fact, I may or may not have poked a little fun at people like me, since after all, they aren’t real doctors. Real doctors do really hard stuff for really long hours somewhere up north with little or no backup.  I used to be a real doctor, but not anymore, and I am pretty sure that I don’t want to be one again.  Pretty sure.

I started on my meded journey first as an ed journey, as my boys struggled in school for various reasons.  I wanted to know ‘what worked’ in education and began to read, read, read.  It took time for my ideas about education to form, based on what I could find from scouring the evidence.  It took many months to feel secure in what I knew and believed.  I created my own truth, bit by bit.  That took me slowly away from medicine, away from hours at the hospital, gradually closer to my family, then eventually, all of us, away from Northern Ontario and took us here, in North Van.

The blog about what I learned about learning especially as it relates to dyslexia and giftedness would be a whole different blog; a prequel to this one.  I may write it too, but not now.  This one starts here, a year into my role at UBC, as I make the final transition from Imposter to Educator.  I won’t have a degree to back it up, but I am ok with that, I think.  I will write about my ideas on meded here, and comment on what I read and hear in the field.  Let’s see where this goes.